Introduction to the BEERBiker


I started my beer story with a blazing Kingfisher, followed by the kick in the stomach GodFather back in 2013,  peer pressure perhaps. Those bitter monsters kept me off beer for a good 6 months till I came across a beautiful green bottle of bubbled elixir called Heineken, and I was hooked.
From a Scotch Noob to a beer brother, what I learnt in the 6 months of abstinence was not all beers are same, there are some which taste like death and there are some with taste like a true love's Kiss.
I've spent two years following beer like a lost puppy, and what follows this post is a series of beer reviews without the complex words or the typical " food review " but a simple 5 point Beer scale by some one who loves his Beer...
The rating is simple and practical...
Point one : The Wak Factor...
The very first sip of them beer nights in most cases a
Barf like gag reflex, it is subdued in us heavy drinkers but let's assume its there . First rating in based on the intensity of the Wak factor. By no means is this a scientific grading scale but I'll mention the Algorithm for calculation, when I figure it out my self.
Point one is graded on a 5 point scale from Corona to HOLD MY HAIR WHILE I PUKE.
Point Two : Chugability
Thou shall Chug thy beer atleast once per Beer session
Its simple we put 5 Beer-da-Vinci's to test under the same testing variable the beer, calculating the time taken by the 5 and representing the mean time on a 5 point scale.
Scale ranges from Bud Light to Fuck This, I'll sip it Slow.

Point Three : " The Bhai Thekka Kithe hai "
( Where the fuck is the Liquor Store )

At times you may not get anything other than a Kingfisher Red and there may be times where you may even find the most elusive BIRA.
The scale represents the general availability of the Beer at the road side Theeka.
It ranges from the probability of a Imperial Stout at the ghar ke pass wala thekka to the probability of finding Kingfisher Red
.
Point 4: Monetary Matters

Now we don't want our beer to be dirt cheap but then we don't want it cost us a Kidney ( pun intended ).
The range is generic, the minimum cost for max volume of beer gets a 5 point and 1 point for max cost least volume.

Point 5 : The Beauty of the Bottle

Most beers have such complex names and are a concoction of exquisite particles put together by pixes in a better world
Reviewers go to such length to explain  complexity of beer, being a lazy arse i aint gonna do that; there fore the grading scale it is divided into two zones the mass produced and the Craft beer ( I'll follow this up with a post on classification of beer ).
I kind of don't want to keep the review without a mention of aesthetic beauty, it is important to the feel of the moment, the glass bottle, the logo etc.
Mama raised a gentleman, beauty lies on the inside too, so we will grade the inside / outside together, the scale is simple...
The range is one point for Mass produced Draught if served in an ugly generic mug
2.5 for Mass Produced in a Normal Bottle with a simple Logo for example the Rockberg or the Kingfisher Red
4 for a Craft Draught in a BeerMug with a cute Picture like the GreatBeer or StarBarrels
5 for a Craft in a Bottle example BIRA

Location: Amritsar, Punjab, India

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